Chapter 5: Secrets of the Immortals

You don't need to worry about this; I have added a spell to your car. From now on, you can just drive it, and there are additional benefits as well

The vendor, upon finishing his words, noticed that the immortal's hair was standing on end, his eyes were bloodshot, and he appeared as if he were about to devour someone. "Who told you that the monkey caused a ruckus in Heaven? And who told you that the position of the Horse Keeper is insignificant? These are all fabrications by those bald donkeys. After the monkey graduated from the Bodhi, I sent the Star of Venus to Flower and Fruit Mountain to invite him to serve as the Horse Keeper, and he is still doing so. Later, due to his accumulated military achievements, we conferred upon him the title of Great Sage Equal to Heaven. Where do you get these nonsensical stories from?"

Seeing the vendor's vivid portrayal, the immortal slightly frowned and said, "You big-headed ghost, I don't even have one myself. I will add a permanent spell to your vehicle, and in the future, your car will be able to compete with a tank; it won't break no matter how it is hit"

Since it has been decided to associate with the old man, one cannot stay in the mountains any longer, as the mosquitoes are truly a threat to humans. That night, the vendor took the old man home to sleep. The vendor's parents were already resting, so he arranged for the old man to stay in his own room on the second floor, sharing a bed, but of course, each had their own blanket

Cough, cough, after listening to the old man's words, the vendor couldn't sell a single cigarette and almost suffocated. This old man is really unorthodox; I thought he wanted to know something, but it seems I was thinking too highly of him. He was actually observing Sister Zhi Ling. However, I must say that the old man is indeed remarkable; in this movie, Sister Zhi Ling's performance is truly authentic, and he actually noticed it. No wonder people say that the longer you live, the more you can see!

Cough, cough, the vendor who listened to the celestial words was choked by the smoke on the bed, wriggling like an indestructible loach. Damn, it's just that the vendor doesn't understand history, but he has watched a lot of television, such as "Detective Dee" and "The Song of the Daming Palace." What impressed him the most was the unedited version of the Ice Ice edition of Empress Wu Zetian. This distance cannot be solved by just adding a few more boxes of fuel; it seems that a van won't suffice. Don't even mention the van; even the high-speed train would be useless!

Willingness, truly, is more genuine than gold! What morals and dignity are there to speak of? Preserving one's life is the most important thing!

The next morning, the vendor, unaware of the time, was jolted awake from his deep sleep, coughing... Upon opening his eyes, he saw the old immortal with a cigarette in his mouth. The pack of Zhonghua cigarettes he had extorted from the vendor the day before was down to just one stick. The old man, relying on his status as an immortal, had already smoked nearly ten cigarettes by morning, filling the entire room with smoke, making it look from the outside as if a kiln were burning!

How is it going? Have any trends been identified in the research?

Look at you, child, what is this all about? Wouldn't it have been easier to just agree from the start? Are you really willing?

Putting aside these thoughts, the vendor began to worry about his task. "Old man, you are forcing me to take on this task, what exactly do you want me to do?"

Thus, the vendor was coerced and intimidated by the old immortal into accepting the old man's orders. Many years later, when the vendor recalled those past events, he could only describe that time with the words "unbearable to look back on"

Considering the significant harm of secondhand smoke, the vendor reached into the cigarette box, took out the last cigarette, lit it for himself, and then squinted to see what the old man was doing

This old man has no idea how long he has been down from the mountain. Surprisingly, he knows how to use a computer; I wonder where he learned that. Now, sitting alone with a cigarette in his mouth, squinting at the screen with eyes gleaming with mischief, the vendor glances at the screen and thinks, hmm, a Taoist has come down from the mountain, assuming the old man wants to learn more about the current state of Taoism

I see, isn't this just like leveling up by defeating monsters? The more monsters you kill, the more experience you gain, and naturally, your level increases, which enhances your strength. Understood, so are you looking to meet tomorrow or the day after? I can find some time in the next couple of days to complete the task. Go ahead, tell me what you want, and I will buy some offerings for you to burn, whether it's incense, aluminum foil, or yellow paper, just say the word!" The cautious vendor decided to please the old deity, preferring to spend some money to hire a few people to offer incense to the deity. Isn't it said that the faith is lacking? That's just because the funds are insufficient! According to his estimation, it has been a long time since those old fellows above had anyone burn incense for them. Isn't it said that people eat, and ghosts smell the fragrance? As for deities, it should be about the same!

That's good. You say there are so many mosquitoes in this mountain, and it's only a few months in. My hands are covered in bumps from their bites!" After saying this, the old man began to make hand gestures resembling a mudra. This time, the vendor saw clearly that he was just scratching an itch, muttering about those damned mosquitoes!

Before the old man could finish his incantation, the vendor clung to the old man's thigh, saying, "Sir, oh great one, I am willing, I truly am willing, please accept your divine powers!" At this moment, he was no longer concerned about the consequences of failing the task; it was more important to get through this immediate challenge first! If he did not agree now, he would vanish without a trace by tomorrow!

However, the old man's next words extinguished the vendor's thoughts: "That is not for you to offer incense and burn paper. Moreover, the time is not the day after tomorrow or tomorrow; it is not backward, but forward, in the Tang Dynasty!"

The old man's words puzzled the vendor. "Isn't that how it goes in 'Journey to the West'? The monkey despised the lowly position, so he went to the Heavenly Palace, causing the Jade Emperor to hide under the table. Later, the Buddha saved him, pressing the monkey under the Five Elements Mountain for five hundred years. Eventually, the Golden Cicada rescued him, and they went to the West to obtain the scriptures together, achieving enlightenment and being conferred the title of the Fighting Saint Buddha, right?" The vendor rattled off everything he knew.

Upon hearing that the so-called eternal technique was merely an invincible van, the vendor immediately lost interest. Speaking of that shabby van of his, even if it were reduced to just a rearview mirror after a collision, one could easily find a repair shop in the small town, and by the afternoon, a new one could be ready. Thus, the vendor was quite dissatisfied. "I finally understand why your Taoism has declined. You are too stingy in your actions. Back in the day, if you had been a bit more generous and arranged a bigger position for Sun Wukong, instead of trying to fool him with the title of 'Bima Wen', the monkey would have been so pleased that there wouldn't have been any great havoc in the Heavenly Palace, leaving your heavenly realm in ruins. Then there wouldn't have been that group of monks embarking on the Journey to the West, allowing those bald donkeys to take advantage of the situation for nothing! You deserve it!" "You deserve it!"

I just noticed a little bit, this woman is acting quite convincingly

Upon hearing about the benefits, the vendor perked up. "What benefits? Is it a beauty? Are you planning to gift me a fairy as a wife?" It seems this fellow truly deserves to be taken out for breeding! Upon hearing about benefits, he first thinks of beauties, with drool dripping from the corner of his mouth and hearts popping out of his eyes, he could even manage to steal a chicken!

Hearing the vendor inquire about serious matters, the old man turned his head and said, "It is like this: in the Heavenly Court, the spiritual energy is sparse due to the decrease in the power of faith. The conversion of spiritual power is insufficient, so we have chosen a specific time point to arrange for someone to go there and alter certain aspects of that time point. This is to strengthen the image of Daoism in people's minds, encouraging more individuals to embrace Daoism. As the power of faith increases, the naturally converted spiritual power will also increase.

The Tang Dynasty is quite distant, and my van probably won't be of much use. How do you plan to arrange it? Anyway, this is all we have, so let it be as it may. I'll leave the hundred or so pounds to the gods!